I Feel Everything
by The Evil Queen's Pet
Summary: A song-fic, right after Maureen and Joanne's engagement. One shot.


**Sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been busy with school and work. I don't know how often I'll be able to update a fic so sorry in advance. Anyways… this is just something that came to mind and it's probably crappy because I've never really done a song-fic. I hope you like it. I don't own Maureen NOR do I own 'I feel Everything' by Idina Menzel, which by the way, the entire album 'I Stand' is amazing! **

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_Like a prima ballerina,  
I tip toe tip toe around you constantly,  
I hear the water running,  
Will it wash your tears or leak through the ceiling?_

_Make my way up the spiral staircase,  
Hope to God you've had a good day._

It was the fight of all fights. I had flirted at the engagement party of Joanne and I. Regret and guilt was all I seemed to be able feel. It wasn't anger at Joanne because she had gotten angry or stormed off. I felt like an idiot. Why did my fear of commitment have to show up now? In front of my parents? Her parents? I felt a sudden need to let loose, forget this day but no matter what I had plans of doing; the day would never leave my thoughts, the look on Joanne's face, the words that were said.

_When you're furious,  
when you start to freeze,  
when you can't be touched,  
I feel everything.  
And when you despair,  
when you cannot breathe,  
when you wouldn't dare,  
I feel everything.   
when you're in ecstasy,  
but you're not with me,  
I feel everything.  
_

I headed to the nearest bar and drank for what felt ever but I couldn't chug the drinks like I normally could when I was angry or hurt, the idea to dance with some stranger didn't even cross my mind. Deep down, I knew Joanne was hurting and I was the reason for it; I could almost feel it. For the first time ever, I felt the need to break down. All I could do was run out of the bar, heading somewhere unknown, which happened to be an alleyway, my body forcing me down to my knees. I emptied my stomach; the tears sliding down my cheeks.

_On a tightrope, on a wire,  
I'll attempt to jump through your ring of fire,  
I'm waiting all the while,  
For a glimpse of something._

One little foot in front of the other  
Don't you know I'm afraid of thunde?

Picking myself up, I wipe at my tears only to exit the alley and headed towards the apartment I share with Joanne. I know deep in my heart I need to apologize, just explain how deeply sorry I am but what if the words don't come out? What if she refuses to listen? I tell myself not to worry about any of that but it's hard, espeically when the woman I love with all of my heart is now hurting. Seeing the apartment building come into view, I slowly walk up the few fligths of stairs to the door, it seeming to stop me, not letting me enter.

_When you're furious,  
When you start to freeze,  
When you can't be touched,  
I feel everything.  
And when you despair,  
When you cannot breathe,  
When you wouldn't dare,  
I feel everything.   
When you're in ecstasy,  
But you're not with me,  
I feel everything._

_There's a fine line between love and hurting,  
and knowing just when to walk away.Like a prima ballerina,  
I will tip toe tip toe around you constantly,_

Composing myself, I turn the door handle and enter the rather quiet apartment, heading towards the bedroom only to see her there, laying on her side, the blanket tugged around her small frame which trembled with sobs. If my heart wasn't broken before, it was now. I quickly slip into the bathroom, rinsing my mouth out before quietly creeping into the bedroom, crawling up behind Joanne. I hesitantly wrap my arms around her, feeling her tense up, which nearly destroys me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered letting my forehead hit her shoulder. "I screwed up. I regret it." I added, the tears once more trailing my cheeks, something I wasn't used too. I didn't know if I should stay or go, didn't even know if she wanted me there. "Do you want me… to leave?" I asked, slowly, moving to get up when there is no answer.

_When you're furious,  
When you start to freeze,  
When you can't be touched,  
I feel everything.  
And when you despair,  
When you cannot breathe,  
When you wouldn't dare,  
I feel everything.   
When you're in ecstasy,  
But you're not with me,  
I feel everything._

"Maureen… stay." She whispers to me. "Just… hold me." She adds, her voice so quiet, I almost couldn't hear it but thankfully, I did. I move back towards her and just for that moment, hold her. I knew the fight would come later; right now the pain was engulfing the anger that was probably there.

"I really do love you." I say, quietly once hearing Joanne's breathing even out, holding her protectively, almost afraid to let go of her. I let my mind rest, thankful that everything, for now at least, was perfect.

-Fin.

Sucky? I think so. Oh well, hopefully you enjoyed. There will be no second chapter so yeah… it's only a one shot.


End file.
